Sierra my girl

Sierra my girl...R.I.P

It was a beautiful day, February 23, 2013. It was a saturday, so I was home soaking up my weekend. It came to a crashing halt about 3:30 in the afternoon when I looked out the door and noticed my world start to spin. My world being my faithful Rottweiler Sierra. She has been my constant companion, well for the most part, since she was born. She appeared to be in distress, going in circles. I ran outside and started yelling for my husband. By the time he arrived I had gone through her first grand mal siezure with her. Scary is an understatement, it turned my tummy and upset me greatly. However, I have a yankee foundation to life and handle things like this with strength and courage. We could not figure out how our healthy girl had just had a major siezure. The vet was called and he said to keep her calm and see if she could make it though to Monday. Poisin control was called and my husband beat himself up over the bug poisin he had just recently dispersed! So all night we worried, but just figured she had gotten into something, which is so not like her at all. Then came Sunday, she was wiped out for most of the day. I sat with her outside under out Cedar tree and just read all day caring for her and loving her. She had two siezures back to back that night. As we are in a 5th wheel at this time it was close quarters for sure to help a 130lb Rottwieler not hurt herself while she siezed!!! But we pulled that off and to the vet we went on Monday, bloodtests were drawn and phenibarbtal was started, heavy dosing for 3 days to get her levels to a therapeutic state. Well bloodtest showed nothing---good and bad really as we still had no idea what the heck was going on, but we trust the vet and followed the advice given. My girl was never the same after that day...my husband remained with her, sleeping on the livingroom floor~do you call the main area a livingroom in a 5th wheel, hmm good question~anyhow he was steadfast in his care of our dog. She had one more siezure on the 25th and then we were siezure free for a good week. However, this medication affected her in a negative way as well. She slept for 22 hours a day, could not get her rear quarters to cooperate; swaying like a drunken sailor she did. We tapered the medication down some, as was adviced and that was not helpful either. On March 1st my husband had to travel to visit with his mother. I was not going and had not planned on it, but now plans changed and Sierra traveled with him and did not stay home with me. Well she could not because I had to work and could not leave her alone. So she traveled, which she has always done with us. this time it was a bit different as we backed the vehicle up to the steps to help her get in the back of the van. What a freaking crazy time that was...but we got her in and off they went with meds in hand. I did not learn until later that when he arrived at his desination 2 hours later she would not get out of the vehicle. Now mind you she is one of the most obedient dogs I have ever met, but she was not doing it, so she slept while the neighborhood children played in the tree beside where she slept in the van. When they returned home on sunday morning she was not getting out either, but me I was not playing and made her get going----she needed to move around at least a little...
That was on sunday the 3rd of march, the beginning of her final week with us here on earth. She took a turn for the worst on the 6th, having another siezure and the vigil began to ride "it" out, whatever "it" was. Come friday she could not settle, even after being administer valium. Off to the vet we went. She was given more sedatives in hopes that the bump back up in phenobarbital would work, but she was not responding and all the meds were not helping. She was up the entire night on Friday, I know this as so was I trying to calm her. By 6:30 am I woke my husband to tell him that we needed to call the vet and that we would probably have to make one of the most difficult decisions we could possibly have to make~~~However, although difficult it was necessary. I loved that dog and could not watch her suffer one more day. She had watched over me and helped me be safe during some difficult times in my life and she deserved to be free from the bind that had a grasp on her. It was the longest,yet the shortest 20 minute ride to the vets office that Saturday morning. She was not herself at this point and almost did not know who I was, but allowed me to continue to pet her and comfort her. She was crossing the rainbow bridge by 8:30am on March 9th and the pain has not gone away yet! I miss her dearly and so does my husband. It is in hindsight that I remember some tell tale signs that something was wrong with her, minor, but all the same some signs. It's clarity in retrospect, gotta love it! However, she was such a loyal dog that never she complained so we really had not idea. It has been determined that she was probably suffering from a brain tumor which was casuing the siezures she was experiencing.
It is another day to think about my girl and feel a trigger of pain for the loss and void that was left when she did...Love you Sierra~

Sierra August 5, 2005 to March 9, 2013

If It Should Be...

If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done,
For this -- the last battle -- can't be won.
You will be sad I understand,
But don't let grief then stay your hand,
For on this day, more than the rest,
Your love and friendship must stand the test.
We have had so many happy years,
You wouldn't want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please, let me go.
Take me to where to my needs they'll tend,
Only, stay with me till the end
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I have been saved.
Don't grieve that it must be you
Who has to decide this thing to do;
We've been so close -- we two -- these years,
Don't let your heart hold back any tears.